Five Signs of a Bad GM

While we have all encountered the What the hell is going on DM (GM) that is generally just a sign that they are new and have not run a game before.  These are associated with an established game. I don’t say this to discourage any beginning or aspiring GMs, as learning to run a game is a difficult and rocky road.

 

1. The most well-known, “The Montyhall” GM: The Gm giveth the GM taketh away. Named after the famous game show were people dress up in costumes and hope to get picked to play for the chance to win. Now do you want to stop here or do you want to give that up to get the chance to when this bigger prize?
2. The Killer GM: Well that is self-explanatory. “No, you can’t beat my world, you won’t even survive my dungeon. MWAHAHA!”
3. The God Wars GM: All players start out at an extremely high level with a lot of equipment, (The GM’s friends get more and powers that are not in the books in most cases.) the GM’s friends cannot get killed no matter what they do or what happens.
4. The Cow Herder GM: All players are led around like they have a ring through there their nose. usually seen as a subset of The God Wars GM.
5. The Celestial Ego GM: This GM has their ego invested in being GM and in their world. (NO YOU CAN’T HAVE FOUND THE FAITLE FLAW IN MY DUNGEN AND BEAT IT THAT FAST!) . May just be a new GM who has not figured out the game does not work that way and is supposed to be impartial…who am I kidding!
6. The Game on Rails GM…..

The Six signs of a bad GM

1. The most well known, “The Montyhall” GM:
2. The Killer GM
3. The God Wars GM
4. The Cow Herder GM
5. The Celestial Ego GM:
6. The Game on Rails GM: May be a subset of all the others. The GM has a plan that requires that the players do things in a certain order. This is like The Cow Herder GM but he does not necessarily tell the party what to do. May just be a new GM who has not figured out what the job entails.
7. The Axe To Grind GM:

SEVEN,  The Seven signs of a bad GM:

7. The Axe To Grind GM: Some times it is the thief or another class but usually it is the Magic user, but it can be any class in any game. Signs include, one class can not be in the game, all players HAVE to be the same class, or more common, for some reason there is no way to play the character as intended. If one monster attacks each player regardless of marching order and how narrow the hall is. This not only destroys the point of the thief and mage it removes all strategy and tactics from the game. It is understandable that most GMs cannot handle running a decker in Cyberpunk or Shaddowrun (Oh, look. Those are affiliate links, so if you buy something linked here, it helps support the VulcanJediTimelord.) because it is like having a psionic combat in the middle of a D&D game.

And now for something completely different:

There are numerous smaller problems with GMs, but many of those have an easy fix. One of the most frustrating is the GM who is chronically unprepared. Now as a GM, I have to say that all of us are unprepared sometimes even if the players can’t tell. However, if the GM is chronically unprepared and it is obvious to the players and affects game play then it is a problem. There are different solutions that frankly are based to a large extent on the age and experience of the GM. With a highschool party, it’s good to pick a game that involves dungeon crawls of some sort, compare designing a dungeon to creating a maze and spend at least an hour up to a full game session having everybody draw up dungeon floors which can be mixed matched and populated by the GM. Everyone, including the GM will of course be competing to design the best maze, labyrinth, or dungeon depending on what you want to call it. If it’s a college party, then you’re going to have to contend with such annoying interruptions to your gaming as labs, midterms, finals, and the greatest danger to the group of all, the GM having a date or worse yet, a relationship. Unfortunately, these are things you’re just going to have to work around. College is just the price you pay for room board and enough time to game. Now if you are adults in the working world, real life just happens to get in the way. Suck it up, it’s called splash damage. Hey kids, don’t worry, a lot of the con goers will get that joke. More experienced gamers/players will be able to work around these difficulties and have a decent game that seems prepared. For newer GMs the thing to do is pick a game that has modules and use them at first to train yourself to run a game and then to fill in on days when you are not prepared. This is an expense the players should chip in for, just like food unless you’re playing at one of the member’s place and happen to have a case where somebody is cooking or is the manager at a food establishment and they bring food. A common solution is to all chip in on a pizza in which the most difficult process in the game may well be agreeing on a pizza. Hint, a way to deal with this is to start with a super supreme or the equivalent and let people veto ingredients until you see what’s left. Start with food allergies and hope you don’t end up with a sauceless cheese pizza with a gluten free crust since that’s just bad cheese toast.

 

GM is such a nit picker to the rules that it’s just a bunch of mechanics and not an actual game. Talk to your GM, and if this situation can’t be fixed get a new GM. Hell if you think you can do a better job….

 

GM is all about story telling and ignores the rules to the point that you may as well be a bunch of kids playing cops and robbers. The rules create the challenge and inspire creativity. Talk to your GM, and if this situation can’t be fixed get a new GM. Hell if you think you can do a better job go for it. There is always a short supply of good GMs and most of us would rather be playing.

 

 

 

Now this isn’t entirely one sided. Players can do a lot of things to screw up a campaign, such as metagaming, rules lawyering, the party up and moves to the other side of the continent every time the GM has a minor challenge for them to deal with, splitting up the party, and stealing the GM’s dice. If you want to play, don’t steal the GM’s pencil, paper, or dice. Honestly, I can’t think of anything more annoying to the GM than these last three.

 

In summation: The five signs of a bad DM…I mean GM

• A big ego that interferes with the game in some way.
• Inability to maintain an impartial balance whether due to a big ego, lack of experience, or failure to have the ability to control disruptive players.
• Lack of creativity.

No wait, that’s it, there are only three.

Con Survival Guide, Post #16: How to Treat People in Costume Or Excuse Me, Flash, Could You Hurry Up?

Con Survival Guide, Post #16: How to Treat People in Costume

Or

Excuse Me, Flash, Could You Hurry Up?

                People who are dressed in costumes at conventions are quite different from people who dress strangely in public places.  Okay, there are exceptions, like you can generally assume that adult women who dress like Sailor Moon frequently (and by frequently I mean there may be an exception somewhere) take themselves too seriously and at least seem to be somewhat unhinged.

Con-goers, on average, are more intelligent and more educated than the general population and therefore have more of a sense of humor.  A few years ago, after Star Wars Episode 1: Phantom Menace was released to menace us all, there was a line of Princess Amadilas waiting to be in the costume contest at DragonCon.  By a line I mean somewhere between 50 and 400.  Since I was walking through that section anyway, I was looking at the various costumes, including the one Jango Fett, when I noticed a six-foot-five, burly man with a cigar sticking out of his bushy beard dressed as the Princess.  I immediately burst out laughing while about fifty people around me stepped back, looking scared.  He reached up one meaty hand, pulled the cigar out of his mouth and in a booming voice said to me, “Thank you! I worked hard on this outfit and you’re the first one to laugh!”  The crowd around me let go a huge sigh of relief and several people immediately admitted that they thought it was funny but were afraid to laugh in case he was serious.  He couldn’t believe anyone could think he could possibly be serious with the huge beard and cigar.  After that, everything went much more smoothly and everybody was happy.

Most con-goers are sane.  I mean there are the exceptions like Miss Marvel/ Rocker Girl, but even most of those are harmless.  The truth is that fandom is full of people who are just bad with names, so generally speaking it is usually acceptable to call someone by the name of the character they’re dressed as (especially if they’ve done a good job of it) or the name that’s on their badge.  It’s always good form, however, to call someone by their own name once in a while if you can remember it.  The good news is they probably don’t remember your name either.

This generally applies as long as they don’t think that you think that they are that fictional character.  In fact, it is generally not acceptable to either believe they are a fictional character, or that you are a fictional character.  While there are some people who are not sane who go to conventions, and they are generally tolerated, and some are genuinely liked, it is not the best way to make friends.  Over the years, some have been viewed kind of like mascots so long as they weren’t causing any trouble.

It is generally never acceptable, however, to call an actor by the name of the character they play or act like you think they actually are that character no matter how incredibly cute Kaylee might have been or how hot Ivanova was.  Girls, this also applies to anyone who has played The Doctor or John Barrowman, who played Captain Jack.  While Amy Pond was hotter than a summer day in Georgia, I have to admit that I don’t remember the actress’s name.  Those of us who are bad with names, of course, have strategies for getting around that kind of problem.

While it is perfectly acceptable to call someone by the name of the character that they are dressed as and compliment them on their costume, interacting with them as the character should be done with some caution.  If you happen to be dressed as another character from the same story, then this can be extended somewhat as long as they’re willing also.

Costumes can be as subtle as wearing a shirt, a pin, or a hat that identifies you as a part of a particular world to a fully detailed 7-foot tall costume of an alien with or without Sigourney Weaver.  I once wore a sheet over my head with two eye-holes cut in it and a sign on my back that said Ghost Writer to a convention.  Unfortunately, nobody took me up on it.  Some of the subtlest costumes consist of having the name of a particular character as a badge name. Generally, the person’s real name is underneath the badge name in small print.

A number years ago, there was a big movement for a small number of near-professional level costumers to enter contests with costumes worthy of movie sets, and while I don’t know if this helped any of them ever get a job, it did scare off the amateur costumers.  As a result, there are a lot fewer people in costume these days than there used to be, except at anime conventions. I personally don’t think that these people should be judged in the same category as everyone else, and I honestly have greater respect for a creative or original costume than I do for a well-made knockoff.

Another sad loss to costuming has been the virtual disappearance of the costumed skit. I and others miss this wonderful aspect of conventions.  Certainly they provide great memories for those of us who were lucky enough to see the Dead Perry Sketch (yes, a Dr. Who/Monty Python crossover) and the Star Trek Red Shirt Zombies.

You don’t have an automatic right to take someone’s picture and monopolize their time without asking.  Most people are more than thrilled to get their picture taken in the costume with you if you ask, but if they’re trying to get to the bathroom or last call for the costume contest or, God forbid, their diabetes kit because they’re about to have a problem and you’re demanding to take your picture with them and won’t let them go, then don’t be surprised if they have the Hulk throw you off the balcony or security eject you from the convention.

Now, if you see things differently from them you may feel compelled to go up and make a comment on how you would have done one or two things differently, which is understandable, and goes over much better if it includes a compliment about something they’ve done that you wouldn’t have thought of, but unless they’re a costuming geek who is getting into the conversation, you might want to limit it to that.  Let me just say on their behalf: “Well if you think that you can do so much better of a job, then shut up and go do it yourself.  Did you go around and critique the other kids on Halloween, too?”  In fact, how good your costume is isn’t really the point.  Whether you’re at a Ren Faire or a convention, the real point is to have fun.  Different people have fun in different ways, but ideally we can all have fun together.

So until next week, have fun.

Con Survival Guide, Post #14: Dealing With Drunks

Con Survival Guide, Post #14: Dealing With Drunks

                Last night, there was a girl passed out on the floor in the hall outside a room party at the convention I’m currently attending as a guest.  She was sleeping quietly while being watched over by one of her friends.  When we passed her later, she was being watched over by a different one of her friends.  While that’s good and kind of cool, you should really try to avoid cramping your friends’ style that way.  She definitely owes them a big favor now.  Hopefully she realizes it.  Drinking responsibly is definitely the way to go.  You have more fun, and if you do it you don’t get a hangover and you remember what happened.

Drinking irresponsibly, on the other hand, can lead to getting mugged, waking up in a hospital, mysteriously finding out you’re pregnant a couple of months later, being ejected from conventions, being ejected from hotels, or waking up in bed with a strange man, which can be particularly bad if you are a straight male or a lesbian.  Of course, it’s a much bigger deal if you’re a straight guy and wake up pregnant, but most likely if that happens you’ll make enough money off your story to never have to work again, so there are pros and cons.

Generally if you’re going to drink, you should start by drinking some water and taking a vitamin pill would not be a bad idea.  It’s also a good idea to try and make a decision on how much you’re planning to drink beforehand.  Let’s be honest: If you don’t remember what happened, then you did not have a good time.  If you think otherwise, your life is miserable and you need to work on it.  If you’re at a con, you’re most likely hanging out with a bunch of friends.  When you go drinking, you should go as a group and look out for each other.  Whether or not you intend to drink responsibly, things happen.  If someone else has gotten really drunk, try to keep in mind that next time it might be you, whether you believe that is true or not.

A few years ago, I was at a convention and had had a really hard day, partially from dealing with my job as a track director, and partially from dealing with my ex (who was not my ex yet) and the guy whose room she was in.  So that evening, I had the most I would normally drink at room parties.  And then I heard in rather fast succession from two different people about how first one and then another of my friends had died recently, which I did not know prior to that.  This resulted in me going into a room party and getting a 32 ounce drink of half blue Powerade and half either Golden Grain or Everclear (if you don’t know, those are just pure alcohol).  I downed the drink in less than three seconds, and what happened after that is Con Legend, but I don’t remember a thing.  I can tell you that I felt really bad for a week.  The next day, when I woke up in a strange hotel room between a couple of my friends, I was disoriented, drunk, and hung over.  And then I had to go do a panel.

Just a couple of years ago, one of my kung fu students and I got between an incredibly drunk trucker and the young lady she was trying to grope, at which point we both became the objects of attempted groping.  We kept her occupied and distracted her from her original target long enough for her to go somewhere else, and eventually shook her off and got away ourselves.  The next day, the trucker was genuinely embarrassed and humiliated by her behavior of the night before, but it could have been much worse.

Even an amiable drunk lacks judgment but is absolutely sure that their judgment is sound and reasonable.  The most belligerent drunk may well be a really nice person under ordinary circumstances and not really someone who deserves to have the crap beaten out of him.  If you are sober, the thing to use is your brain to convince them to do whatever they need to be doing, like returning to their room where hopefully you can get them to lie down and pass out before any other problems occur.  On a number of occasions, I have given drunks shot glasses full of water which they slammed one after another while convinced they were getting even drunker.

The old myth about sobering somebody up with coffee only gives you a wide-awake drunk.  However, if they were drinking beer it may result in them spending hours pissing in the bathroom rather than running around acting stupid, and you can always tell them they had a great time.  Hell, if you want to you can tell them they had a great time making out with a guy in drag.  I’m not actually recommending that; it wouldn’t be nice. One thing’s for sure: You would much rather have them sleeping it off.  The last thing you want is a wide-awake drunk.  Despite the fact that energy drinks mixed with alcohol kills people, I still see people going on about how great it is.  Please don’t be stupid and don’t let your friends be stupid.  I have on many occasions seen people convincing their drunken friend to follow them back to the room when it was obvious they were too drunk to walk correctly and almost ready to pass out by telling them they were going to another room party.  As these people generally had to tell the person where they were going or what was going on about every thirty seconds, usually preceded by the drunk person insisting they wanted to go to another party and wanting to know where they were going, it required high maintenance.  I have also seen two or more people practically carrying a vaguely ambulatory but entirely disoriented person back to their room.  Unfortunately, it’s more important to make sure your female friends are not left out with possibly untrustworthy men or lesbians while drunk.

A luggage cart can be a convenient thing to load a drunk on.  If you can get them on a luggage cart, then you can just cart them back to their room.  George Leonard (author of Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment) used to tell a story about a belligerent drunk on a train in Japan when he was young and full of himself because he’d had a few years of martial arts.  He was about to step up and start a fight with the guy when an old man stepped between them and asked the drunk what he was drinking, and started talking to him about how he used to drink that when he was young.  Within minutes, the belligerent drunk was now crying on the old man’s shoulder, telling him his troubles, and George Leonard realized that the old man was far more of a master than he had mistakenly imagined himself to be.

In short, most situations call for thinking and compassion rather than violence and aggression.

Copyright © 2013 Julian Thomas Reid III

Con Survival Guide, Post #13: Surviving Con Crud

Con Survival Guide, Post #13: Surviving Con Crud

 

        Obviously, the best way to deal with Con crud is to avoid catching it in the first place.  The key to that is getting some sleep, eating some healthy food, taking extra vitamins and, well actually, if you check out my earlier post on Fatigue you will get some really good tips on dealing with this sort of thing and getting ready to go back to work on Monday.

        Con crud is any one of a huge number of generally unidentified illnesses that people regularly pick up after going to a convention.  They are usually viral in nature and leave you feeling achy   They can vary from a general feeling of crappiness to a ‘flu or intestinal virus.  It is generally a good idea to help head these off by taking a little extra Vitamin C, Cat’s Claw, or an immune-boosting formula like Wellness Optimizer by Jarrow or Planetary Formulas Astragalus and Cat’s Claw formula.  Frequently people will come away with a cold as well.

How you deal with these things depends a lot on the symptoms.  If, for instance, I were having diarrhea, I would take either Immodium or Plum Flower Brand Coptis.  For a bad cough, I would tend to use my mother’s home remedy of ⅓ Tequila, ⅓ raw honey and ⅓ lime juice.  Most of the time, however, I don’t let things get that far.  Before getting sick, I will typically take a half dose of the Chinese Plum Flower Brand formula Gan Mao Ling.  It boosts the immune system and will tend to prevent most viruses.  I always drink a little extra water during the course of conventions because dehydration can cause a lot of symptoms of illness and is the basic cause for hangovers.  OK, actually hangovers are caused by a combination of dehydration and the effects of congestants found in alcohol (especially rum and beer).  Vodka actually has the least amount of congestants, and is less likely to give people a hangover, but I will have more to say on that in the “Responsibly drinking” blog yet to come.

If I actually get sick, I will usually take Oscillococcinum and Plum Flower Brand of Gan Mao Ling at the first sign of illness,   After that I try to sleep it off.  Now, you may have noticed that I am consistently recommending Plum Flower Brand.  The reason is because they consistently use higher quality herbs, have never been found to contain heavy metals or unlabeled drugs, and tend to work reliably well.  I also never use the sugar coated pills because I have found that they don’t work as well, and if you just swallow the pills there isn’t that much taste anyway.

For a cold, I use Ginger and Onion Tea.  This really isn’t as bad as it sounds.  It tastes kind of like chicken soup without the chicken.  Note: It is acceptable to add chicken and noodles to it.  If I feel like I’m coming down with a cold but don’t yet have it, I take the green parts of a bunch of green onions and three slices of ginger, put them in a small boiler with a cup of water and bring it to a boil, then pour off the liquid and drink it.  If I already have a cold, then I use the white part of the green onions.  Usually, I find that one dose gets rid of the cold, though it could take as long as a few hours.  You can take this tea once an hour, but if it hasn’t gotten rid of my cold by the first hour, I definitely switch to the white part of the onions and if I still have it after three hours I use ginger, lemon and honey tea, which is an old African remedy.  I use three slices of fresh ginger, one teaspoon of raw honey, and the juice of a whole lemon and throw the peel into the tea.  I add one cup of water and bring to a boil just like the Chinese tea above.  If those two teas do not get rid of it, I know that it’s not a cold and probably is the ‘flu, although it might be some other virus.

If symptoms persist, definitely go see your qualified medical practitioner, whatever their initials may be.

Disclaimer: This blog is not intended to diagnose or treat any disease.

Copyright © 2013 Julian Thomas Reid III